You know you’re in Maspalomas when you’re greeted like a long lost friend by an excitable Spanish gay chap who you’ve never met before, as he hugs you while giving you a kiss on each cheek (how very continental) before welcoming you to ‘paradise’!
While the UK was covered in snow I was stripping off at my adults-only, all-inclusive, 4-star hotel in Gran Canaria (yes, it’s a hard life). I don’t know what gets into me but the minute I arrive in Gran Canaria I can’t keep my vest on!
All-inclusive food and drinks means over-indulgence renders you incapacitated for hours on end. Thank heavens for the fabulous rooftop terrace (with bar, obviously). I’ve had some surreal moments during this holiday; not least when I spent the evening with a couple of Swedish guys watching a female contortionist and her strongman partner on stage, as I knocked back large glasses of Baileys on the rocks.
I did occasionally drag myself away long enough to enjoy boaty things and travel around the island a bit but the majority of my week involved nothing more strenuous than slathering another layer of sunscreen onto my burnt bits. Feliz Navidad!