When an email suddenly appeared in my inbox from my new boss asking me to pop along to her office, without giving away any clues as to why, I did the very British thing of assuming that I’d done something wrong. However, that couldn’t have been further from the truth because she immediately asked me if they could extend my temporary contract as she was so impressed with my work! She said she’d give me time to think about it, and half a second later I replied YES! Never in a million years did I think I could begin a brand new career aged 54, and yet here I am, doing just that!
Oh my word, I didn’t see that coming. I knew that departmental contracts were currently being discussed but there was no way I was even thinking I’d be invited to stay. Of course, this happy development means that I’ve had to make some very big decisions, and I’ll now be leaving the familiarity of the self-employed position I’ve held for the past eight years so that I can fully focus on my new and exciting future. Burning bridges can be extremely scary, however, you simply can’t move forwards if you anchor yourself to the past. At times like this you just have to take a giant leap of faith, and trust that the universe will catch you…
Life really is full of surprises, and it appears that middle-aged, peroxide blonde zombies are exactly what certain employers are looking for (ref: previous post) and I got offered the position within 24 hours of the interview! It hasn’t actually sunk in yet, but I’ll apparently be receiving my official paperwork in the post and a training day will happen in the next few weeks. As it’s casual work it’ll fit in perfectly with my current part-time job, so I really couldn’t have asked for more.
I have to admit that the jury was out regarding how 2015 was going to go, however, even though it’s only February this year really is shaping up rather nicely. New experiences, new friends and now a new job! Who knows what the future will hold but from where I’m currently standing it’s looking VERY exciting indeed!!!
If your ex had any kind of business registered at your postal address, it’s a huge relief when you finally get all of the online listings removed. Obviously, there’s nothing you can do about any hard-copy evidence of his/her links to your home, but it’s a positive step towards erasing all traces of them from your new single life.
It’s also very cathartic to trawl through your hard-drive and removing your ex from your computer’s memory. There’s little point in keeping pictures and videos on your PC of the two of you all happy and smiling on holidays and day trips unless you look particularly good in them or you’re a whizz with photoshop & video-editing tools. Often, the reality is that those moments of joy were fleeting and don’t reflect the true story. Don’t delude yourself into believing things were all pink & fluffy when they obviously weren’t. Move on, ditch the past and focus on the pink & fluffy future ahead of you.
It’s not an attractive trait, but most of us secretly (or not so secretly) yearn to be doing rather much better than the ex after a break-up. Whether it’s the first one to find someone new, or to be clearly financially better off, or even to look younger / slimmer / fitter, it’s often somewhat of a race to out-do each other (consciously or subconsciously).
Obviously, in order to know if you’re the one who’s ‘winning‘ you have to somehow find out what the ex is up to. Sometimes this can be in the form of interrogating mutual friends, although this is a risky option which can end up alienating you from people (opening a whole new can of worms when word gets back to the person you’ve been distancing yourself from emotionally & physically for the past few months). However, with the world-wide-web at your fingertips it can be as easy as typing a name into google… and here lies the thin end of the wedge.
At a time when you need to be moving forward with your new life, and leaving the past behind, DON’T be tempted to waste even a minute of your day spying on what he/she has been up to since you split up. If you find out they’re doing better then you’ll feel hideous, and if you find out you’re the one who’s currently on top then you’ll want to keep checking back just to make sure you remain on top. Resist the temptation. You wasted enough days / weeks / months / years when you were with them… don’t waste another minute of your life obsessing over someone who’s not going to be a part of your future.
Key dates can be an unwelcome reminder of a recently ended relationship, and anniversaries even more so. It’s tempting to think of what your life was before you’d met your ex; how slim you were, how carefree you’d been and so on. However, this is seldom helpful for your rehabilitation into single-hood and will only lead to more resentment of years ‘wasted’ and regrets over what might have been if only you’d chosen a different path all those years ago.
Instead, ignore the fact that your ex has recently sent you an unpleasant text message just because you refuse to allow him to keep his credit cards registered at your address any longer, (almost 8 months after he moved out), and try to focus on all your post-break-up achievements, no matter how small. It may be a nice new friend you’ve met, a few pounds of flab lost, managing to fix something yourself or even a new job you’ve just started. Leave what’s gone behind you and embrace what happiness and excitement the future can hold.